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shiverelectric asked: If you could change anything about the other, what would it be? And what about the other would you never change?
Watson: Oh God. Are you serious?
Holmes: I believe that’s what’s referred to as a “loaded question.”
Watson: I would make him shorter.
Watson: It is completely unnecessary for you to be so bloody tall.
Holmes: I am not excessively tall. I’m just over six feet.
Watson: Tall enough.
Holmes: In that case, I would make you taller.
Holmes: Actually…no, that’s incorrect. I wouldn’t want you to be taller.
Watson: Let’s declare any and all physical characteristics out of bounds.
Holmes: Because changes to our personality are somehow less disconcerting? At least our physical forms are more or less the result of genetics.
Watson: If I could change one thing, it would be that you’d have a better relationship with your family. It makes me sad that you don’t. And one thing that I would never change is…well, whatever wires that got crossed in your head and made you think that being with me was a good idea.
Holmes: If I could change one thing it would be that you would never again make a self-deprecating comment like the one you just made. And I would never change…(sighs). Your hair.
Watson: My hair?
Holmes: What shall I say instead, John? That I’d never change anything about you? Because that’s the truth. But that sounds too much like a greeting card so I shall say that I’d never change your hair and be done with it.
Holmes: What? Why are you staring at my hair?
Watson: Have you ever thought of going ginger? It’d look good on you.
Holmes: Next question, please.
[in which “Performance” John and Sherlock Answer Your Questions. Submit to the Askbox, click the “ask john and sherlock” tag to see other questions and answers.]