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Two part question from flockofbirds…

dear lori, this is a rather embarrasing question so bear with me, please. I’ve been reading your stories and I love every single one of them. Lately I got to read Genie’s blog. I thought I wouldn’t like it, but the truth is that I simply loved it. Your stories got me thinking about love. The concept as such, and whether or not love in a romantic relationship is real or if it can last or how does it feel like, etc. I’ve realized I’d love to have a relationship similar to what john and sherlock have in your stories. I’m currently in a long-term relationship, and it’s my second serious relationship ever. I’m almost 21 years-old and most of the times I just used to think that I wanted too much. That ‘real life’ is just plain and boring and not perfect but not terrible either. Now you’ve got me wondering, well… maybe I haven’t found the right person yet. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes, I speak Spanish :) just thought I’d let you know.

Well, I’d hate to think that I was contributing to the overidealization of real-world relationships. In my opinion, the fictional depiction and over-romanticism/idealization of love relationships is a huge contributing factor to people’s dissatisfaction in them. We’ve been conditioned to believe that being in love means you’ll never need anyone else (not true), that you’ll never want to have sex with anyone else (bullshit), that you’ll be happy once you find love (horribly and dangerously untrue) and that the right person can complete you (egregiously, damagingly and terrifyingly untrue). I try to be as realistic as I can when I write relationship but it is still fictional, and it is still a fantasy. We don’t live in fantasies, and reality has its own rewards that can get lost in the hunt for some perfect ideal that doesn’t exist.

That being said, YOU ARE 21 YEARS OLD. You barely know who YOU are, let alone what you are looking for in a relationship partner or even what constitutes a successful relationship for you (and that differs from person to person). If you’re not happy, leave. But don’t do it because it isn’t perfect. Nothing is.

23 February 2012 ·